By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
