the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We had sex on a dog bed..
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
