four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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