i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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