Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
