if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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