Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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