Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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