Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
