Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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