Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
