I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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