did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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