he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
