If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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