Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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