She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
did i just pee glitter
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
