The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
