OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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