You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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