i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
