He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
