i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
