is your mom at the bar?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
