grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
