The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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