My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
