sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
