he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
