Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
