Need sex. Gaining weight.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
