I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
