Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
