This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
