So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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