i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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