The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
