Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
