Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
