were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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