Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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