Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
