that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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