that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
