stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
