I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
