remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
