I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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