dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
