Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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