And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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