Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
